A Vacation on Five Dollars
by Tensleep
Summary: Darry's attempt at a vacation doesn't go over well with the gang. Written for the July WSOTT Rumble.


Well, this is the first thing beta'd for me by Aerodynamics! I have had it for a bit, but life, as they say, is insane sometimes. So special thanks go out to Aero! This was written for the WSOTT Rumble prompt for July "The Vacation from Hell". Check it out and you can hear all the wonderful back history behind it! Link is on my profile page!

Without further adieu...

**A Vacation on five dollars**

"Well, this officially sucks."

Two-Bit and Soda both glanced at Steve. He was right, but Steve was the only one who was blatant enough to say it out loud. When Darry had promised them a camping trip, none of them had envisioned that they would be sitting in the back yard with two tents and marshmallows to roast over the barbeque. The original plan was to drive out to the lake for the weekend and camp there, but Darry's job had shifted schedules again and taking the weekend off wasn't an option. It was something to actually spend time with his friends and just goof off for the weekend, but in Steve's mind it was turning out to be one pathetic vacation.

"It's not that bad, Steve," Soda tried for what seemed like the fourth time.

"Soda, you know I'd normally try to put a positive spin on this, but I'm with Stevie on this one," Two-Bit threw in.

"Don't call me Stevie," Steve responded automatically, flicking his half roasted marshmallow into the depths of the barbeque.

"Darry tried, so the least we can do is try to look like we're enjoying this." Soda grabbed a marshmallow to roast, hoping to set an example.

"Oh, it's not us you have to be worrying about," Two-Bit pointed out, gesturing to where Dallas was smoking yet another cigarette by the back fence.

Soda frowned. If anyone was going to hurt Darry's feelings, it would be Dallas. Darry would accept it, though. He had known Dallas for years, and he had a thick skin because of it. This was the best he could do, and it would be nice if Dallas would just go along with it to make Darry happy. But cooperating just wouldn't be Dal's way of doing things. Soda sighed, wondering if they were even going to make it to dinner before this whole night fell apart.

"But, Darry, we only have two tents! It will be like sleeping in a sardine tin!"

Soda felt like sighing again. Then there was Ponyboy. The kid hadn't been happy since he'd tripped up at the track meet three days ago and missed out on finals by only a few seconds. He'd been miserable to be around since and Darry seemed to be the one taking the brunt of his bad mood.

"It won't be that bad," Darry assured him, carrying supplies for dinner outside.

"You're a lot bigger than I am! You won't even notice if I suffocate in the middle of the night."

Darry sighed, his patience obviously running low. "I don't know what to tell you, kiddo. If you don't want to sleep out in the tent, sleep in the house."

"By myself?" Pony sounded like he thought even less of that idea.

"Talk someone into sleeping inside with you," Darry suggested, setting down potato salad at the picnic table.

Pony scowled, shoving his hands in his pockets as he stalked off to where Johnny was sitting on the back steps. Soda shook his head. This adventure in the back yard was supposed to cheer the kid up. Maybe he'd be happier once he had a hot dog or two in him.

"Anyone hungry?" Darry asked, gesturing at the tray of hot dogs sitting on the table.

"Hot dogs?" Steve asked, looking like he was done with this whole trip to nowhere if this was Darry's idea of dinner.

"Yeah, we get to roast our own. Darry and I spent forever straightening coat hangers just for this," Soda told them, clearly trying to put a positive spin on the idea.

"Really?" Two-Bit perked up.

"Try not to burn the hot dog, or yourself," Darry directed, handing Two-Bit one of the straightened coat hangers. "And if the hot dog falls into the barbeque, don't try to fish it out."

"Come on, Darry! I'm an old pro at keeping what I plan to eat intact and even clean in some cases." Two-Bit winked and waltzed over to the barbeque with purpose.

"Two bucks says the hot dog hits the ground," Steve wagered.

"Five says he eats it anyways," Dal countered, sitting down beside Steve at the table.

"Wanna get in on this?" Steve asked Soda. "Wanna bet on some other catastrophe?"

"No bet," Soda chuckled.

"Ha ha, guys. Just watch the master," Two-Bit called over his shoulder.

He confidently put his hot dog over the heat and hummed as he focused on that. Both Steve and Dallas frowned.

"Hey, Two-Bit, tell us a story," Dallas suggested.

"Oh, you'd like that." Two-Bit shook his head, carefully turning his hot dog.

It was common knowledge that the jester talked with his hands and no hot dog could survive that. A few minutes later, he walked over to where there was bread and ketchup waiting. When he had the hot dog ready, he took a large bite and grinned at his friends around his triumphant creation.

"You know, if you had some faith in me, you could have made a pretty penny there, Soda," Two-Bit informed him. "I'm an old pro at this."

"When did you ever have the chance to roast hotdogs?" Pony asked, getting a hot dog of his own to roast.

"Well, how do you think Ma ever got Katie and me to eat anything that wasn't covered in pasta sauce or chocolate?" Two-Bit asked. "She used to have us stand at the stove on the kitchen chairs with hot dogs on clothes hangers at least once a week."

"You are full of surprises," Steve sighed, shaking his head.

"Your ma sounds like a brave woman," Johnny commented, reaching for one of the uncooked hot dogs before taking a bite of it.

"Yep, my ma is one great lady," Two-Bit beamed. "Come on over here, Johnnycake. I'll teach you the best way to cook a hot dog."

Johnny looked doubtful, but followed Two-Bit over to the barbeque with a hanger and a new hot dog.

"Want me to cook you one, Dal?" Two-Bit asked.

"If the kids can cook their own, so can I," Dal replied, getting up to cook one.

"Cook one for me, Two-Bit," Steve called. "I want to try one of those world class hot dogs of yours."

"Coming right up!" Two-Bit shouted.

"Keep it down, will ya? He's not across the road or anything," Dal huffed, waving his hot dog up and down.

"Want some tips, Dal?" Two-Bit asked, earning a glare.

"Just cook your own damn weenie," Dal growled.

"Alright, suit yourself, man." Two-Bit shrugged. "Now, the trick is to keep your dog moving, Johnny. If you let it stay on one side too long, it won't cook evenly."

"Like this?" Johnny asked, turning his hot dog over while Two-Bit nodded.

"Perfect. You're a natural Johnny!"

Dallas scowled at the pair of them, discreetly turning his hot dog like he hadn't been listening in the whole time.

Darry shook his head and began dishing up the potato salad. With Two-Bit playing grill king, there was really no reason for him to hover.

"Now, Stevie, do you like your hot dog cooked or well done?" Two-Bit called, causing Steve to shrug.

"I thought this was your thing, Mr. Hot Dog King."

"As long as it's hot, he'll eat it," Soda assured him.

"Darry, do we have anymore marshmallows?" Ponyboy asked, holding up the empty bag that they'd already gone through.

"After dinner," Darry promised.

Pony looked at the hot dog on his plate like someone was trying to torture him. Soda grinned at his younger brother and plopped a scoop of the salad on there as well.

"Darry made it with pickle chunks – just the way you like it," Soda pointed out, literally motioning to the green flecks in the white salad.

"No one else does," Dallas grumbled, reaching to check his hot dog. "Son of a –"

"Oh, and when checking one's hot dog, keep in mind not to grab the wire too high or you'll burn your fingers," Two-Bit told Johnny matter of factly.

Dallas glared at Two-Bit, not saying anything with his thumb and index finger of his left hand firmly sucked into his mouth. He made his point by tossing his poker – hot dog and all – viciously into the dirt.

"If you brush that off, it'll taste just fine," Steve pointed out, getting a glare from the injured Greaser.

"Want me to take a look at it, Dally?" Darry offered.

"It's fine. It just hurts like hell," Dal growled, studying his fingers where there was a perfect wire-shaped burn across them.

"Want some ice, Dal?" Soda asked with a wince at seeing the throbbing skin.

"No. What I want is a beer. I'm going to Buck's."

"Come on, Dally. This could still be fun," Soda tried.

Dallas wasn't listening. He had his jacket in his good hand a minute later, stomping off through the back gate and cursing at his hand as he made his way to Buck's. Soda sighed. Well, it wasn't all that unexpected.

"Alright. Here's your hot dog, Stevie. That'll be five dollars," Two-Bit declared, handing over the hot dog like nothing had happened to interrupt his cooking.

"Two-Bit," Darry sighed, looking like he was going to start lecturing.

"I bet Steve that Dallas would be the first to leave," Two-Bit offered with a shrug. "Looks like I won."

"Why'd you take that bet?" Pony asked, looking surprised.

"Because I was sure we'd have it packed in because of you," Steve replied.

Ponyboy scowled. "Well, if I were in on this bet, I would have been a winner with how you were the first to start beefing about this. You're probably only still here because Soda guilted you into it!"

"You want me to leave, kid?" Steve asked, setting his hot dog down. "Just say so and you'll get your way, just like you always do."

"Ok, enough!" Soda stood, looking mad at the pair of them. "I can't believe you two! You can't even get along for one night!"

"I'm startin' to think following Dal is a good idea," Two-Bit told Johnny, who merely shrugged and ate his hot dog.

"I'm sorry, Soda," Ponyboy sighed, looking like he had been scolded. "It's just this whole dumb vacation in the back yard..."

"I know this isn't the best vacation, but Darry tried to make the best out of what he had. You know he did." Soda shook his head. "It's him you should be apologizing to."

"Hey, where is Darry?" Two-Bit asked, looking around the back yard

"He's probably in the house looking for the bandages and stuff. You never know what could happen around an open barbeque," Soda replied, glancing at where the kitchen light was on in the house. "Listen, I know this isn't what we had in mind, but can we try? For Darry?"

"Yeah, I guess." Pony nodded and the other three followed suit.

"Hey! Now that we all have a bunch of sugar in us, how about a couple ghost stories?" Two-Bit suggested. "Do you think Darry will let us light a camp fire?"

Soda smiled. "I think everything but the fire will be just fine."

"Because I know this real doozy. It happened to me last week in Math class when Mrs. Herford bent over right by my desk and –"

"Save it for story time, Two-Bit." Soda beamed.

"He's not kidding about that one being scary," Steve threw in, shaking his head. "I was two desks back and thought I was going to lose my eyesight when I saw that run in her hose that went all the way up to places I never wanted to think about."

"Remember Mrs. Johnston in second grade?" Johnny shook his head. "I think that was the last skirt Curly looked under until last year."

Two-Bit howled with laughter and the others started chuckling, picturing the look of utter horror on Curly's face when he found out their teacher wasn't wearing any underwear.

It was that fit of laughter Darry saw through the back door as he carried out another tray of marshmallows and chocolate. See? All it took was a little burn and an argument to get the vinegar out of everyone. Now they could have a good time, even if this was the worst idea for a vacation he had ever come up with. Darry smirked to himself and wondered what else he could get away with. The boys were just too gullible when Soda laid into them. They'd have to do this kinda stuff more often.

Who said you couldn't have a vacation on five bucks?

The end.

Any comments are welcome, and flames are accepted.

See ya in the funny papers!!!

Tens


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